Of course not. I have two new things to worry about, both of major consequence. While listening to National Bolshevik Radio last Saturday, I heard a story about a man named Harold Camping and his followers. Camping's careful reading of the Bible has allowed him to verify that The Rapture will occur this May 21, when all of God's chosen are raptured directly to Heaven.
You will notice that this is the eve of our planned trip to South Africa. So now I am worried that I will show up for the flight and Cory won't be there--only a pile of his clothes.
Cory has tried to assure me that there's no chance he'll be raptured. But, for once, I think he's missed the big picture. Doesn't it seem likely that God has a sense of humor? I mean, how else can you explain Donald Trump?
And what would be a better practical joke than to rapture Cory Brundage straight to Heaven while leaving all those blowhards who have been claiming that they have been friended on God's divine Facebook page standing on earth watching Cory rise? Nothing. There is no better joke than that. Even the cleverest joke ever invented by man (yes, I'm referring to the whoopie cushion) pales in comparison.
So I have every reason to be concerned.
And if that weren't enough, I have just learned from Cory that a possible side effect from his anti-malaria medicine is "psychotic behavior." Now, Cory's wife Linda has asked, "How will anyone know?" But it only makes sense to me that a medicine that makes normal people act psychotic could make a psychotic person act normal. Right? And what if Cory suddenly becomes Mr. Outgoing? "Hey, stranger. You say you signed up for Comrades, but didn't bother finding a place to stay? You can stay with us! And you there. You want to tell us why we need to convert to your religion? Hop in the car! We'll take you to dinner!" What can I say, other than that I am praying franticly for The Rapture.
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