Countdown to Leadville

     As Jim has reported accurately, we are in Leadville getting ready for the race.  Where he has not been accurate is in his slanderous allegations that I spent the month of July in Michael Jackson's oxygen chamber.  I would never waste money on anything so frivolous.  The fact is I had a lung transplant from Lance Armstrong. It was expensive but the performance enhancing substances which saturated the tissues were thrown in for free so all-in-all it was a pretty good deal.
     Jim may have gotten the details wrong but his main thrust is on point--this mountain trail running requires more stuff than just throwing on your running shorts and heading out the door. In fact,  the more we get up in the mountains the more we realize that there are things you've just got to have if you're going to finish. In what follows I will describe some of the gizmos and gadgets that I never before knew I needed.  Some are necessary at all times and others others just at night. (Hint: it gets dark and cold at night in the mountains--who knew?).

                DAYTIME--ALL THE TIME

     Here is a picture of some of the daytime gear that's needed:

                                                         

                                                    
     From the top down, what we've got here starts with a hat that sends the message to the world that you no longer care whether everyone clearly sees the inner dork you have been desperately trying to conceal since middle school. It has a curtain around the back like Rommel the Desert Fox, only on anyone else it makes you look like Norman the Desert Numbnuts. A picture says it all:



The opposite of cool is not warm--it is this.

      Anything this ugly had better be functional and this actually is. It not only keeps the mountain sun, which can burn you to a fritter, off of your ears and neck; it is made of "Icefil" material, which wicks away heat. The manufacturer claims that it lowers skin temperature by 11 degrees. I don't know by how many degrees, but I do agree that this material does keep you cooler, as we shall see when we consider the rest of this ensemble.
     Next up is the sunglasses. I have long been a follower of ZZ Top, who, as we all know, advise "Get yourself some cheap sunglasses". However, while that advice may have always gotten them sharp-dressed women with pearl necklaces, it won't work in the mountain sun. You need good sunglasses because the rays are super intense. One Experienced Mountain Runner warns that if you don't wear good sunglasses during the day you will burn your retinas and won't be able to see at night. Not being being able to see while running down dark, steep, rocky trails is what Experienced Mountain Runners apparently called "being screwed". Fortunately, I didn't have to wrestle with my inherent Scrooge-ness because my lovely wife cashed in some rewards points and got me some Oakleys.  Oh man, just wearing them makes me feel like a really cool athlete-Dude. Too bad the hat completely trumps everything else.

  Next is what appears to be your run of the mill T-shirt. Au contraire, technology Bozos.  That is not just what is referred to as a "Tech Shirt" in that it is made of completely synthetic fibers not found in nature, no, not by a long shot.  These  fibers  happen to be the aforementioned IceFil material, which means that in addition to the "I'm an idiot" hat, your shirt is also working to keep you cool, although in a much less ridicule-inducing way.
     Continuing on with this theme, notice that it looks like someone has cut off the sleeves of the shirt but neglected to throw them away. Once again Icefil makes an appearance. I think like Vonnegut's Ice-nine, Icefil is slowly going to cover the globe. When I first saw these I thought they were supposed to be arm warmers and were every bit as much an affectation as the leg warmers all the disco chicks wore to jazzersize in the 80's. Once again Icefil proved me wrong. Not only do they make your arms feel cool, they block the sun and eliminate the need to slather sun screen up and down your appendages.
     Diverting from clothing for a second, directly below the sleeves are my new Black Diamond  Alpine Carbon Cork, Flicklock ultra-light hiking poles. They're expensive but what can I say? They had me at "Flicklock".
     The running shorts are RaceReady. They have several pockets all across the back where young hotties have "Juicy" across their posteriors--not that I've ever noticed. This allows you to stuff in numerous Gu packets which will not only keep you going but give quite an unexpected sensation if you plop down somewhere and burst a few of them all over your butt.
     The kinky-looking black things below the shorts are Zensah compression thigh sleeves. I know. They look like they should be made out of fishnet and be found on masked men in grainy videos. The theory is they help prevent the blood from pooling in your legs and they facilitate lactic acid removal. What can I say. I'm desperate. I'll try anything. After the hat, what does it matter? Continuing on with this theme, below the thigh sleeves are calf sleeves. Same rational plus, once again, the sun protection without slimy sun screen.

     On the left calf sleeve is a  black band that velcro's around my lower left leg. It is supposed to add stability and help keep that old devil Pes Anserine Brusitis at bay.
  
     Under the calf sleeves is a pair of "Dirty Girl Gaiters". You've seen the hat. Do you even have to ask if I feel less than manly wearing something called Dirty Girl? Anyway, they really work to keep the little pebbles out of your shoes. If you've ever tried to ignore a little pebble in your shoe for a few miles you know how soon it can become a LARGE GODDAMN ROCK.  I chose the always tasteful Rattlesnake pattern since it was guaranteed to match absolutely nothing else.  For a hoot go to the Dirty Girl website. They look like people who know how to have fun.

     Moving on: SmartWool socks. I've never worn wool socks before but, once again some Experienced  Mountain Runners (the woods are full of them) recommended them and, based on the last couple of weeks' running, I'm hooked. They say they are the best for blister prevention.

     At last, two pairs of trail shoes. We'll run through water several times and won't change wet shoes during the day because it's so dry here. But, after the last river crossing just before dusk when the temperature drops down into the 30's you want to change your shoes and socks. Kevin,  also a very Experienced Runner at the Blue Mile store in Indianapolis recommended Brooks Cascadias and I liked the first pair so I bought a second. They're a little heavier and stiffer then running shoes but on the rocks and rubble that's a good thing. The tread is also better for traction for those places where, as yet another E.M.R. said, "you'll feel like you're surfin' on snot". A very vivid picture.

     OK, that's about it for the stuff you need in daytime. This is getting too long so I'll cover the rest of the technology (yes, there's more--much more) in the next post. In the meantime, just to tide you over I'll surrender all my pride and show what all this looks like in practice. Remember, be kind. I know what I look like. I just can't help myself. I'm obsessed and I admit it. I'm also desperate for any small assistance I can get. I'll buy anything that promises to help and, if the devil makes anywhere near a reasonable offer, I'm willing to sell too. But you knew that as soon as you looked at this picture:



I warned you.