I'm With Adonis

"Few Things Are Harder to Put Up With Than the Annoyance of a Good Example."     Mark Twain

I think it safe to say that Cory would be deeply, horribly disturbed if anyone ever called him a good example.  Nonetheless, there are certain facts before us.  The most troubling of these facts is presented by a results search from the 2013 Boston Marathon.  Someone going by the name of Cory Brundage and wearing the race number I saw him put on the morning of the race--that someone finished in 12th place in the 65 - 69 Male division. 

Now, I mentioned that to Cory, and his response was "So what?  So I was a little faster than a bunch of decrepit old guys.  Is that really worth anything?"  I can understand his downplaying his accomplishment.  It's not like he has a business making duck calls or has Bruce Jenner as a step-father.  Still, I saw something on the internet--hence, a proven fact--that his high finish in his age group and a $100 bill will get him a Venti coffee at any Starbuck's in Boston--in other words, coffee at a 50% discount.

Also of note is that Cory was the 9th U.S. citizen in the age group.  Since there are more than 19 million U.S. males age 65 or older, that would suggest that he is above average in his distance running talent.  It would even suggest that, in a country where "normal" means "morbidly overweight and out of shape" and "morbidly overweight and out of shape" means "state fair patron," Cory is a model of fitness.

Which gets me to my point.  Damn him!  The rest of us, who occasionally push aside the last bite of chocolate fudge walnut brownie topped with ice cream and fudge sauce and declare ourselves "super health conscious", have to put up with his damned good example.  His demonstrating that we're bloated and slow and horrible to behold, not because of the ravages of time, but because we'd rather not do any of those not-very-fun things that the pesky Brundage boy keeps doing. 

Well, I've learned my lesson!  From now on, when I go to races with Cory, I'm going to hang back as we go to the starting line, point to him and tell everybody around me, "See that guy there?  He's my nephew--and he's really fast!" 

Meanwhile, have you ever tried Ben & Jerry's "Peanut Butter World"?  It's chocolate ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate cookie swirls.  It's really good.  I'm going to go eat two pints right now.