Will be to arrive at where we started
And know the place for the first time."
--T. S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"
I have written before about the eerie similarities between Tanzania and Indiana, but the evidence keeps piling up: These two supposedly different venues are actually the same place! I pointed out before that in both places, you are never more than a few steps from a corn field or a chicken coop. But some astute readers have commented that the same could be said of Kansas--so maybe Tanzania and Kansas are the same place, and Indiana is just the holding area for people not cool enough to live in Kansas.
Having driven through Kansas, I can believe that. Nowhere in Indiana is there a restaurant that is playing "Hoosiers" on a continuous loop. But there is a restaurant in Kansas--in Hays, Kansas to be exact--that is playing "Wizard of Oz" on a continuous loop. And nothing says "cool" like identifying yourself with a 70-year-old-movie populated by little people wearing diagonal plaids and bad hairdos.
But, even though we Hoosiers can never be as cool as Kansans, we can match up okay with Tanzanians--at least, that's what I'm going to try to prove.
You've seen my previous evidence. Now consider this. "Tanzania" and "Indiana" have exactly the same number of letters in their names. (Well, except for the fact that "Tanzania" has one more letter, but in Indiana, 7 and 8 are generally considered to be the same number. [Math may not be our strength.])
And here in my neighborhood, there are big expensive houses right next door to active corn fields.
The gated property, above, and the corn field, below, really are directly across a dirt road from each other. And a half-block down that dirt road, you will find this pseudo-Swiss cottage.
So, let me summarize. Over-sized houses, pretentious fashion, and rows of corn, side by side. That shouts out, "HAMILTON COUNTY, INDIANA!"
And then there's the further evidence that I'm still in Indiana that it's June and the road I need to use to get to my work is under construction. Actually, it's the road in front of my house. Since it's a dirt road, you might not think it would get any attention, but that would defeat the acknowledged goal of Indiana/Tanzania road repair--to inconvenience the maximum number of people possible.
First, they ran a grader over the dirt road to push the dirt around. Then they watered the road to turn it into mud. Then they ran the grader over the mud. (If this makes any sense to you, please turn yourself in for a mental health screening.) Now they are running a roller over the dry dirt.
So, what you are seeing in this picture is pretty much the finished product of the road work. And, while I admit, it may not look as nice as an Indiana road, I think that deficiency is more than offset by this fact: I believe this work will be completed in my lifetime.
Are you convinced now that I really am still in Indiana?
I see that all but one of you are nodding "yes." But there is still one skeptic left--you know who you are! And it is to you that I address this last item. Review the following picture very carefully.
Just in case you missed it, if you look closely at the sign, you will see that this place offers rental "appartment" and--even more importantly--each such "appartment" is "varnished with everything." Now, it is possible that these are varnished apartments, but I'll bet my money on "furnished" apartments. Meaning that this sign uses truly bizarre spellings of words--absolute proof that we are dealing with Hoosiers.
Oh, and one last thing. President Obama will be visiting Tanzania this coming week, so he has been the subject of a couple of conversations I've had with my Tanzanian acquaintances. And, to a person, they are all convinced that he was not born in this country. Gotta be Hoosiers!
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