The Annoyance of A Good Example

Mark Twain said, "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."  Which proves that Mark Twain never met Cory Brundage, notwithstanding the fact that they appear to be roughly the same age.   Because, had he know Cory, Twain would undoubtedly have said, "NOTHING is harder to put up with than the annoyance of Cory Brundage's example."

Everything that Mr. Brundage does makes the rest of us men look like soft-bellied pikers.  Admittedly, we all are in fact soft-bellied pikers, but we have spent good cash for our tent-sized shirts and aviator sunglasses to hide this fact.

And the worst part of the Cory's behavior is the goddam self-effacing modesty that he has.  Damn it, boy!  Can't you at least be obnoxious about your achievements?

True story.  The results booklet from the 2013 Boston Marathon only got sent out a couple of weeks ago.  Looking through it casually, I happened to see Cory's name and time--both of which I knew--and that he finished in 12th Place!  (12th place in his age group, but that is still 12th Place--and at the Boston Marathon.)  The next time we ran together--yes, I will shamelessly drop in a reference to how I train with a 12th Place Finisher from the Boston Marathon--I said, "You never told me you finished 12th in your age group at Boston."  His response was, "Well, it's not a big deal.  It was just a bunch of old guys."  How true, Cory.  And how unfair to those other guys that they had to race against someone their own age.

And it was the same at the Leadville 100 mile trail race in August.  Cory was the only finisher in his age group and the second-oldest finisher overall.  The oldest finisher being a German Ubermensch named Hans-Dieter, who a few years ago finished 4 100 mile trail races on four consecutive weekends.  And Cory beat him.  Because even Teutonic eugenics and relentless training is no match for the world's highest pain tolerance and smallest brain.  (Fictionalized demonstration of this principle illustrated below.)

(If you wonder where I am in this fictionalized account of the Leadville race, look more closely.  That's me on the poster in the background.)

Then yesterday Cory ran a local marathon, in 43 degree weather, with rain and wind.  Of course he won his age group.  By 13 minutes ahead of second place.  Qualifying yet again for another Boston marathon.  And at the end, was still fresh.  Well, not "fresh" in the sense of pleasant-smelling (definitely not that); and not "fresh" in the sense of "full of energy"; but "fresh" in the sense that most characterizes Cory--"fresh" in his charming attempt to persuade a middle-aged lady selling coffee to trade him a cup of coffee for his running shirt.  (I think he would have succeeded, too, if her husband had not also been at the coffee stand.)

And while I'm on the topic of people who annoy the sh*t out of me by their good example, let me bring up a couple of other people I know who are completely impossible to put up with.

Mariela Botella.  This young lady had a business meeting in Malaysia.  So she arranged her schedule to take a side trip to Borneo.  To compete in a 100 kilometer cross-country race--over mountains, across rivers, and around a cabbage patch.  Which sounds like a cute kid's story.  If the kid was a young Marquis de Sade.  Imagine having to run 32 miles through Hell, only with a worse climate--heat, humidity, monsoon rains.  And, of course, the leeches.

Yes, Mariela emerged from one of her river crossings with leeches on her legs.  Which was quite a shock for her.  Since she works for ExxonMobil, she had assumed that conscience-lacking bloodsuckers would show her professional courtesy.  But, really, Mariela.  How could they do that and still call themselves "conscience-lacking"?

Chris Harrison.  This young lady became a "Leadwoman" at Leadville, Colorado this summer.  This required, among other things, that she successfully complete a 100 mile mountain bike race over high-altitude mountain trails and a 100 mile running trail race (yes, also over high-altitude mountain trails) on consecutive weekends.  With a 10 kilometer running race between the two 100 mile races.  And then she went to Guatemala and built high-efficiency stoves for poor people in rural Guatemala.  Don't you just hate her? 

These people are so lucky that I'm willing to put up with them and their damn good examples.  I don't know if they realize that I know plenty of lazy, rotten, disgusting people that I could hang out with instead.  Like you.  Thanks!  For all the good things that you don't do--I am forever grateful.