STARTING OVER

It's January; the days are getting longer; virtually the whole year is in front of us; nature's cycle of renewal is at its new beginning. So for us, it's an encouraging moment. This year, we're going to be better people! We'll floss every day! We'll give up sweets! We'll obey the speed limits! And, most of all, we'll not complain about anything!

As we unveil our new and improved selves, let me mention that I've picked the title "Starting Over" for a reason--the reason being that there was a movie in the late 70's with that title, starring Burt Reynolds. And Burt Reynolds is the perfect reflection of where we are at the beginning of this new year. Because both Cory and I are virtual doppelgangers for Burt Reynolds. Cory is the spitting image of the young, dashing and sophisticated Reynolds.

And equally importantly, I am a perfect match for the old, decrepit and dottering embodiment of Reynolds.

Well, actually, I'm being overly generous to myself to make the comparison to Burt. Probably a more accurate comparison would be to the old, decrepit and dottering Hugh Heffner.

Day after day, I go out and muddle along in cold, frequently snowy and slick weather. I don't muddle fast enough to call it running. I'm miserable most of the time I out. Not once has an attractive young woman offered to give me a hug to warm me up. (Or even an attractive young man--I'm beyond the point of false pride on this matter.) And no one gives me chocolate cake at the end of any of these runs.

So how does that connect me to Hugh Heffner? Well, you may have read that Hef, now age 84, just recently got engaged to a 24-year-old. So, you see, we both keep doing the same thing over and over long after we've forgotten why we're doing it. The only difference is that nobody thinks it's ridiculous what I'm doing. . . . What's that? . . . Really? . . . How many of you feel that way? . . . Oh . . . Never mind . . . I guess there's no difference between me and Hef.